I Know You Can Hear Me
by itainthardtryin
Summary: A life told through letters from Brittany to Santana.


15th May 2013

Brittany walked slowly onto the grass and sat down, legs crossed. She opened the envelope she had in her hands and unfolded the letter, looking up briefly before swallowing hard. One hand instinctively touched the ring on her finger. She cleared her throat and began to read:

"_Hey Santana, _

_I don't know what I'm meant to say in this but Quinn told me I need to talk to someone and you're the only person who ever listened, so I thought I should probably talk to you. I miss you, Santana. I really, really miss you. I've been here every day this week. You know that. I haven't had anything to say until now, because it's too hard to talk to you and not hear you talk back. It's even harder to want to look at you but just see your name carved in stone. I can still see your eyes and your smile. Every time I close my eyes I just see you. I'll never forget you Santana. I promise you that. When I'm old and grey and have kids and grandkids, they'll all know who you are and how amazing you were and how much I loved you and how much you loved me. I promise. I'll always come back and visit you. You'll never be alone, okay?_

_I love you. _

_Brittany"_

She wiped away the tears making their way down her cheeks and put the letter back in the envelope. She set it in front of Santana's gravestone before walking away.

* * *

><p>5th May 2014<p>

"_Hey Santana, _

_It's been a year. One whole year without you. I don't really know how I managed to get through it all to be honest. It's been so hard baby. It's been the hardest year of my life, and I don't think it's going to get any easier from here on in. Do you know that we would have been married by now? I think about what that would have been like all the time. We would have been so perfect. We _were_ so perfect. I still wear the engagement ring you got me. You were so nervous that night, but you made it so perfect. You made me feel like I was the luckiest person in the world. I am the luckiest person in the world. I got to have you in my life. Even if you're not here now, I still had you. You were mine. You were my best friend, my future wife; my everything. You still are. You're still everything to me, Santana. I just wish you were here. I love you. _

_Brittany."_

* * *

><p>8th February 2015<p>

"_Hey Santana, _

_Happy Birthday. You would have been 21 today. I can imagine what you would have been like. You would be complaining because getting alcohol isn't a challenge anymore and it's not as fun now that everything's legal. It still wouldn't have stopped you from getting wasted though. You would have partied so hard. I wish you were here for that. I wish I had you here. I just wanted to be here with you. You shouldn't be alone on your birthday. It's almost two years since I last held you. I'd give anything to have you back in my arms. You might not be here in person, but you're always in here in my heart. Okay? Don't think I've forgotten about you. I still love you so much. _

_Brittany."_

* * *

><p>5th May 2024<p>

"_Hey Santana, _

_I'm sorry I haven't been here as much recently. Since I moved away so I can only visit you every month or so, I'm sorry. I try to get here as much as I can though. I had to be here today. 10 years Santana. I still don't understand why it had to be you. It could have been anyone, why you? Why did you have to be in the wrong place at the wrong time? Why didn't you just stay in school for an extra five minutes? Why didn't I just ring you so you would have pulled over and wouldn't have been driving? There are so many things I still don't understand. The only thing that's clear to me is that you're not here and you should be. I didn't know whether to tell you this or not because I don't want you to think that I've forgotten you because I haven't. I found someone who loves me. We got married last month, Santana. I'm sorry. Please don't think that I'm over you, because I'm not. I know you'd like him though. You'd approve. He makes me really happy and I honestly do love him. He's just not you though. He's my partner but he's not my soulmate. You're my soulmate. You'll always be my soulmate. I love you. _

_Brittany"_

* * *

><p>5th May 2026<p>

"_Hey Santana, _

_I've got some pretty big news to tell you. I'm a mom, Santana. You'd love her. She's only 3 weeks old but I know you'd love her so much already. Her middle name is Santana. I wanted to name her after you so I feel like there's something there that's a part of you. I wish you were here to watch her grow up. Quinn was with me in the hospital. We both started crying because we remembered how you used to hate kids but then after we got engaged you went into mother mode and wanted us to have children of our own. We imagined what it would have been like if it was me and you Santana. You would have been such a good parent. Everyone thought you were a bitch but you were so full of love. You just needed people who took the time to see that. Our child would have loved you. My daughter would have loved you. When she's old enough I'm going to tell her all about you. I'm going to show her pictures and tell her stories about all the times we spent together. She'll be proud to be named after you. I just really wish you could have been here to see her. I love you. _

_Brittany"_

* * *

><p>26th October 2029<p>

"_Hey Santana, _

_I had to come here today because I didn't know where else to go or who to talk to. I had to say goodbye to Quinn today. You probably know that already though, at least you're both together now. She was so young, just like you. It's so hard Santana. I just want to be with you both. I have this great life – a husband, a perfect daughter, everything I could want and more – and yet I just want to be with you. I'd give it all up in a heartbeat to just be with you again. And now Quinn's gone too. She was my rock after I lost you. She got me through all the hard times. I don't know who I have for that now. I just feel so alone Santana. I know you'd be so disappointed in me if I gave up, so I'll keep going. I'll tell everyone it's for my family, but really it's just for you. We'll be together again. You said we'd be forever, and you can't take forever away from us. I'll be with you again, I promise. I love you. _

_Brittany"_

* * *

><p>5th May 2043<p>

"_Hey Santana, _

_Thirty years. Do you know I can still remember everything about you? I can still hear your laugh. You had the most adorable laugh. I still remember how your hair fell over your face when you were asleep and how you used to scrunch your nose up as it tickled you. I still remember how you arms felt around my waist when you used to sneak up behind me. I still remember the way your eyes used to soften every time I told you I love you. I remember everything Santana. It's been thirty years and I still remember everything. I had a doctor's appointment a few weeks ago. I'm sick, Santana. It's terminal. I don't know how long I have left. But this might be the last time I get to come and visit you. I've never really given any great thought to death. I'm not scared. It's just the waiting that scares me. I hate being sick. It's going to be hard and painful, but I know when the time comes that I'll just be taken back to you, so it makes everything okay. I'll see you soon. I love you. _

_Brittany"_

* * *

><p>5th May 2044<p>

A thin, blonde haired woman approached Santana's headstone and knelt carefully in front of it. She was silent for a few moments, running her fingers along the letters carved out in front of her. After a few minutes she started to talk.

"Um, hi Santana. You don't know me but I know you. My mom always told me about you. It was always so important to her to come here and visit you. You seemed like you were an amazing person. It was clear that you made my mom really happy. Every time she talked about you her face lit up and she was always so much happier than I'd ever seen her. I'm really proud that she named me after you. One of the last things she said to me before she passed away was that she was happy that she was going to get to see you again. I miss her so much Santana, but I know she missed you and I know she's home now. She gave me this envelope before she passed away and told me to bring it here today. She told me not to read it, so I don't know what it says. I'll just leave it here for you, okay? Please take care of my mom Santana. Thanks for making her happy."

The woman got up from where she was kneeling and walked away slowly. She made a promise to herself to visit Santana so she wouldn't be alone. After all, she had to respect and keep her mother's wishes. She felt as though this was the way things were meant to go. She was devastated at her loss, but she knew that her mother's heart belonged with Santana. A small smile appeared on her face as she realised that there wasn't going to be any more pain – physically or emotionally – for her mom. She left with a feeling of peace.

Under the still of darkness a gust of wind howled around the graveyard, lifting the envelope along with the leaves blowing them away into the night.

"_Hey Santana, _

_If you've been given this then it means we're together again. I promised you I'd never forget you. Forever starts now. I love you. _

_Brittany."_


End file.
